Dog's and Cat's Diary

A Dog's Diary

7 a.m. - Oh boy! A walk! My favourite!

8 a.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 a.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favourite!

2 p.m. - Oh boy! A car ride! My favourite!

3 p.m. - Oh boy! The kids! My favourite!

4 p.m. - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favourite!

6 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favourite!

7 p.m. - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favourite!

8 p.m. - Oh boy! Dog food! My favourite!

9 p.m. - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favourite!

11 p.m. - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favourite!

A Cat's Diary

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on
fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another
house plant.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded. Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
on their favourite chair. I must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what
I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little kitty cat I was. This is not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I
overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing something called "allergies."
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released
and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. He speaks with them regularly, and I
am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
is assured. But I can wait.

It's only a matter of time.